Wanker-Jause

Location:Schrittesser’s Speck & Bar
Website:http://schrittesser.at/
Address:Reichsratsstrasse 11, 1010 Wien
Status:Open (last checked on 5 November 2015)
Eaten:Big “Brettl” (Karreespeck, Bauchspeck, Hartwürstl, “strong cheese”), vinegar cucumber, two beers (Murauer)

It’s not easy to think of a situation where such a “Brettljause” would not look completely out of place. OK, maybe if it were a starter in a really expensive restaurant. Or if it were served late in the night in a bar where one is too pissed to care about anything.

It’s not a Brettljause really. It’s a plate standing on a piece of wood. The plate contains up to four types of Speck and cheese that you choose from the menu. Being already a disaster variety-wise, it shocks size-wise: although carefully arranged to make a false sense of volume, the slices are so thin that it’s truly counter-productive to eat them with bread, because the bread’s taste overshadows them completely. On the other hand, eating the bread is mandatory to feel at least marginally full.

To say something positive, the Speck was good. The best part, though, was the hard smelly cheese, which is so strong, that one starts to doubt which hole of a cow it came out from.

If this were a free sample served to encourage me to buy a big piece of Speck or cheese, this dish would have been absolutely fine. At over 10 Euro it’s a bad joke.

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