The Tyrolean Shame

Location:Gasthof Goldenes Dachl
Address:Hofgasse 1, 6020 Innsbruck
Status:Open (last checked on 26 December 2016)
Eaten:“Bauernmarend,” 1 ½ beer (Tiroler)

The moment I entered the Goldenes Dachl, somehow I already knew that it will all end badly. Perhaps it was the disgusting oily kitchen smell that put me off immediately, or maybe it was the restaurant’s manager, who, when asked for a table, dismissed me altogether, giving me the choice of eating at a bar or sharing a table with someone. Plenty of tables were free and not reserved, by the way, and I simply occupied one of them, just to have an Italian couple placed next to me a couple of minutes later. It was a nice Italian couple, for some reason always saying “na zdorovje” when clinking their beer glasses, but still.

The Dachl’s Bauernmarend was not just bad, it was shameful. With Innsbruck trying to sell Speck as one of its main attractions (even if 99% of it comes from the same manufacturer), it is unbelievable that one of the main tourist restaurants in the city center would serve something that hopeless. The two slices of Speck came straight from the plastic and were cut slightly thicker than usual, which did nothing except making them more difficult to cut and chew. The “mountain cheese,” though tasty, has an unhealthy shine, as if it was cut a long time ago. The Schweinsbraten, old and grey, looked pitiful, and the Salami was identical to the plastic-wrapped sort that I bought at a supermarket and had for breakfast today before leaving for Innsbruck. Only the hard sausage, cut into small slices, had a bit of a non-industrial taste, but it could not change much in the overall disaster.

Even the presentation of the dish, as you can witness from the picture above, was telling me that all the restaurant wanted was to have me pay as soon as possible and leave, vacating my seat to the clueless tourists queuing up outside. Next to me, a large group of Japanese (strangely, knowing enough German to place an order – are they required to take language courses while travelling or what?) were biting into Fiakergulasches and Bauernschmauses, and the look of their dishes was not much more exciting. It may be OK for a centrally located restaurant to manage their tables carefully and charge higher-than-average prices (nearly 12 Euro for my Jause was a bad joke though), but it is not OK to serve the cheapest, simplest, lowest quality stuff.

Today being the Christmas day I really had no choice, but in retrospective, staying hungry would have been a viable alternative.




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