A Bad Goose

Address:Judenplatz 1, 1010 Vienna
Status:Open (last checked on 20 November 2019)
Eaten:Martinigansl, 3 beers (Villacher Dunkles)

To appreciate heaven, one must experience hell. If that is true (and it sounds too good not to be true), then a visit to Bieradies should be a requirement for all the goose lovers. It will definitely help them better appreciate some average geese out there, because this one is really really bad.

OK, I had no expectations. Bieradies is a place surviving only because of its location, tourists and beer, and their spare ribs (an all-year specialty) were some of the worst I’ve ever eaten. The goose follows the pattern perfectly.

What one finds under the soft fatty skin is a one-centimeter-thick slice of gray meat, which cannot be removed from the underlying bone. It turned out that between the meat and the bone there was another layer of something white, which could well be Superglue. When after a lot of struggle I managed to remove a piece of meat, it came out with tiny threads at its end, which immediately got between my teeth and refused to go out.

The taste was so awful, I wished the meat were tasteless. It’s indescribable, but if one boils an old sock for a few hours, one may achieve something similar. Worse of all, chewing the meat was accompanied by strange noises on the teeth, as if parts of it were made out of rubber. It would be interesting to see a recipe for this particular goose. It must involve quite a few rounds of unfreezing, warming up and refreezing again.

It makes no sense to describe the other ingredients, so I’ll just mention that they were totally industrial and, in their averageness, significantly better than the goose itself. Try Bieradies once to have a reference point for comparison, then avoid like plaque.




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