Sitting in the garden of Waldgrill Cobenzl exposes one to some of the most annoying ambient music ever. Unpleasant and highly repetitive, it starts to get on your nerves within five minutes of your arrival, and by the time you are ready to pay and leave, there is nothing in the world you are looking more forward to than a few moments of silence. The music is also totally inappropriate for the location; I can imagine it playing in a dark underground bar (though I cannot imagine such a bar having a lot of customers), but in a Heuriger-slyle garden on the top of a hill overlooking Vienna? Bad, bad decision.
Curiously though, the music perfectly matched the spare ribs that I had made the mistake of ordering. They were just as boring and repetitive and lacking any taste. I mean, they did not even taste of pig. Due to their great age and the complete lack of marinade, they tasted of whatever you dipped them into. Dip then into the garlic sauce, and they would taste of garlic. Dip them into the red spicy sauce, and they would taste of a combination of ketchup and something Chinese. If I had shaved them up the cook’s ass, they would have tasted of shit.
The funny thing is, the spare ribs were not even badly prepared. They looked appetizing and separated quite nicely from the bones. But eating them was like chewing paper.