Little Meat Balls

Location:Steinkeller
Website:No web site
Address:Via Portici, 227, 39012 Merano BZ, Italy
Status:Open (last checked on 13 April 2023)
Eaten:Spare ribs, one liter of red wine, an espresso, some complimentary meat balls

One reason I keep on maintaining this rarely visited web site is the fact that occasionally I come across establishments that are so good or (more often) so bad, that I feel my writing about them actually provides a service to the world. I still hope, for example, that Heurigenschenke Wilhelm Busch reopens one day and is just as hopelessly bad as before, because it’s truly the awful places that give me strength writing about the boring average ones.

Steinkeller had all the prerequisites for joining the awful ones. Located on the main shopping street of Meran in a rather nice old cellar, that restaurant surprised me by having only a single table, which was occupied by a nice German family that spent most of the evening researching visitors’ reviews of the same restaurant and having a good laugh in the process.

The waiter was not only totally unprofessional, he was also completely aware of that fact, confirming each gaffe with a big smile that forgave him everything. It took ages to place an order, despite the fact that the restaurant was practically empty. It took centuries to cook the spare ribs, even though when they finally arrived, they looked anything but cooked. They were pure pig, no marinade to talk about, not even a ketchup to add to the taste. The pieces not belonging to the bigger rack did not even have bones in them, featuring so much annoying cartilage that I was close to giving up and leaving the restaurant in disgust.

Once I bit into the main rack, things started to improve, if only slightly. The meat continued to be insufficiently grilled and quite greasy, but at least there was a clear separation between the meat and the bones, and biting into the meat did not pose “cartilage problems” anymore. I did not like what I ate – not for a second – but at least I did not feel an urge to stand up and depart.

The reason for my persistence was not the spare ribs and not even the red wine, which was quite acceptable. The thing is, having taken the order and immediately forgetting about it (or perhaps going to the Management to discuss what that mysterious “spare ribs” entry in the menu meant), the waiter eventually realized that I had been waiting too long and brought me – completely unexpectedly – a plank with six tiny cold meat balls on them.

I have no clue what those meat balls were. The waiter himself was lost when asked for their name, sending me to the “Management.” Yet first, they were not South Tyrolean at all and second, they were extremely spicy and generally brilliant. If I had to bet on their origin, I would have said Romanian, though the amount of spice in them was nearly up to the Indian “standard.”

Thus, I left Steinkeller with terrible memories of spare ribs but feeling pleasantly surprised by the little complimentary nameless meat balls. The price of the spare ribs was kind of fair considering the restaurant’s central location but still too high taking into account the portion’s size and the quality. The meat balls were really good though. If you have a chance, go to Steinkeller, order something that takes extremely long to cook (in that restaurant it can very well be anything) and hope to receive a few gratis meat balls while you are waiting. They are the only reason that restaurant has any rights to exist.

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