Why would anyone serve a Brettljause with butter but no bread? Because bread costs extra, and they do want you to order bread, that’s why. While I don’t mind being charged for bread in the wine taverns of the Wachau, where Brettljausen are dirt-cheap and bread is fresh and warm (usually the waiters bring the bread by default anyway, but warn of the additional costs), I do somehow object to paying more than 15 Euro for a “gourmet plate” and having to spend 2 Euro more just to have something to spread the industrial butter on. Especially if the bread is at least two days old.
Zwölf Apostelkeller, a purely tourist location in the very center of Vienna, offers a number of plates with cold cuts on its menu, but the description of the Feinschmeckerplatte looked better than the others, and it was the most expensive dish, too. Tyrolean Speak, ham, salami, Surbraten and cheese can be good, providing the restaurant cares about serving high-quality products. Zwölf Apostelkeller obviously does not, probably thinking that a Japanese tourist drunk on cheap wine and Viennese music played by in-house musicians can eat absolutely anything.
The Brettljause could have been worse, of course, with the Surbraten and, to a lesser extent, Speck bearing at least a hint of authenticity. The ham, however, was so dry it was difficult to chew and swallow, and the cheese and the salami hardly had any taste at all. The absence of horseradish and mustard was noticeable, and not even a full egg could save this Jause from being a complete tourist rip-off.
Spending one night in Vienna and dying for a wine cellar experience? I would suggest, go to a supermarket, buy a bottle of wine, some cheese and sausage and consume them in your hotel room while looking at the panoramic pictures on the Zwölf Apostelkeller’s web site.
Leave a Reply